Social NRIs in USA

There are a lots of Indians all over USA. They usually socialize at different levels. For instance when they are students, post docs, they have their fellow classmates and they visit each other, have simple dinner parties etc. Mostly these parties are very enjoyable, innocent and the participants have no other distraction in life.I consider this to be the best socializing event in somebody's life.

As time passes by and they settle in life they tend to have different types of social groups. These groups usually comprise of spouses and young children. The social gathering usually revolves around their kid's activity - occasionally around themselves. But still this group is kind of OK in terms of socializing.

Few more years passes, kids start going to school, the group dynamism changes slowly. The social activities still revolve around the kids but generally the adults really don't have any social contacts in any true sense. They have by now established themselves in some good jobs, started earning enough money, managed to have a house, started sending their kids to private schools. I have noticed that people(generally adults) in these groups know very little or nothing about each other. They have zero or negative attention span. When one person starts speaking in such a gathering, there are hardly any listeners. The people who are suppose to listen, may be already thinking what "I should be speaking" next instead of listening. They often snatch words from others mouth and drag the topic to something else.

One such group I am part of, where people have known each other for more than 10 years, but still don't know much about each other!! Either they are not interested or they have been focusing on themselves too much. While they tend to know somebody's weak point, but don't usually know their strengths. What are their specializations, what somebody is good at etc. For instance they don't know somebody's surname, where they are from, what are their background etc. I kind of get surprised when they gather around for so many hours together, what they talk? Some people talk politics, some talk about economy, and MANY about somebody's life style!! In Indian population abroad about 90% are there that compete with each other in prosperity contest!! Ladies generally look at what others are wearing, what jewelery somebody has. They tend to ape each other and get the things that will put them in the certain list in their next India trip. They are always kind of very curious to know how much the other person is earning. If they are earning more than them, then they wonder why they are spending less than them and vice versa. People often get judgmental and think that they are better than others in many different ways. Another aspect of such a community is a kind of power struggle. This may sound strange but - its true. There are people who want to prove that "I am more efficient, I know more and I can lead a group better than others". Whatever talent they have or not they tend to display to the the unwilling audience. As a result of which it becomes totally chaotic. Nobody is really there to watch anyone!! All are either in back stage or preparing for the show.One thing I am yet to see is if they help each other in need. Such is the story dearies. If anyone knows anything different I would like to hear your story. Thanks for reading my article.