This is middle of the week, just had a meeting and another is due in few hours, but suddenly a thought cropped up my mind and I thought what the heck let me take a break for few minutes and blog it...
This thought stemmed from searching a group email about some missing crucial info about certain social event that is going to take place this saturday. When I did not find it in my mailbox I send a email to the group asking for the information and they quickly send the information back to me - which is much appreciated!
While growing up and even now when I go home to India, for any event/non-event, small event or anything at all, we immediately turn to someone for help or information. We are so used to it. If we have to find direction, we don't read maps, just stop and ask someone. We are just so quick in asking for help without thinking if we can do it ourselves. Few months back when I went to India, we went to a hospital for some routine check up, and immediately my mom made few phone calls to make sure that we know some doctor or atleast have some link at the hospital. For going out, we generally call a taxi cab we are familiar with.We go to a bank where one of our relatives or friends work, we buy a product that someone known sells us. In other words, we do nothing without knowing someone. Deep inside, think about it, it comes from our dependency on the other person. We somehow refuse to live life independently.
Here, in this part of the world, things are culturally different. One has to learn to be independent very early in their lives, they need to learn how to read a map, read a bus or train schedule make a living of their own etc. When I was new in the US I made very annoying errors. I would not do my home work and search for a solution to my problems, but immediately go and ask someone about how to solve it. This is an extremely irritating behavior which I am realizing now. I have had my own share of brickbats too and now I tend to be less dependent on people and try to do my things myself.
In the academic world, I guess success also depends on how independent you are. I have seen a bunch of people from the same lab becoming successful quite easily while people like me still struggle. Underlying this probably lies the deep psychological phenomenon of dependency. The sooner you get over it, the sooner you will lead a better and independent life. I sometimes feel it is very difficult to shed your old habits and embrace something different. Is it a "Caught between two worlds" syndrome?...
This thought stemmed from searching a group email about some missing crucial info about certain social event that is going to take place this saturday. When I did not find it in my mailbox I send a email to the group asking for the information and they quickly send the information back to me - which is much appreciated!
While growing up and even now when I go home to India, for any event/non-event, small event or anything at all, we immediately turn to someone for help or information. We are so used to it. If we have to find direction, we don't read maps, just stop and ask someone. We are just so quick in asking for help without thinking if we can do it ourselves. Few months back when I went to India, we went to a hospital for some routine check up, and immediately my mom made few phone calls to make sure that we know some doctor or atleast have some link at the hospital. For going out, we generally call a taxi cab we are familiar with.We go to a bank where one of our relatives or friends work, we buy a product that someone known sells us. In other words, we do nothing without knowing someone. Deep inside, think about it, it comes from our dependency on the other person. We somehow refuse to live life independently.
Here, in this part of the world, things are culturally different. One has to learn to be independent very early in their lives, they need to learn how to read a map, read a bus or train schedule make a living of their own etc. When I was new in the US I made very annoying errors. I would not do my home work and search for a solution to my problems, but immediately go and ask someone about how to solve it. This is an extremely irritating behavior which I am realizing now. I have had my own share of brickbats too and now I tend to be less dependent on people and try to do my things myself.
In the academic world, I guess success also depends on how independent you are. I have seen a bunch of people from the same lab becoming successful quite easily while people like me still struggle. Underlying this probably lies the deep psychological phenomenon of dependency. The sooner you get over it, the sooner you will lead a better and independent life. I sometimes feel it is very difficult to shed your old habits and embrace something different. Is it a "Caught between two worlds" syndrome?...
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