Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Don't you Aparna me or Rameswar me:))

[Disclaimer: This is true and based on two people, Aparna and Rameswar. Rameswar, with all likelihood would not remember me, if he did, it does not matter. Aparna on the other hand, is a very close friend of mine. So, Apu, if you read this by chance, take it in a funny way, for you are a very funny person;-)]


While growing up, my younger brother and I used to always team up playing in the evening hours on the sand heaps in front of our house. We used to make temples in the wet sand and would collect all the withered Nerium flowers from the tree floor and decorate our temple.

Nerium indicum(Kaner flower)



Occasionally, my friends or my little brothers friends would join us and by the end of the evening, we will end up making a stupendous looking structure....

It  was one such evening, my little brother's classmate in school joined us in our venture who lived in the next block. His name is Rameswar and was widely known for his mischievous nature. He would push kids to the road, would beat up other kids, the list goes on and on. So, it was kind of surprising for us that Rameswar decided to join us for making a temple!! We were not very apprehensive, but gave in later on. It was new years eve, and we all were indulged in collecting greeting cards. The more one number of cards one gets, the more popular he/she is. While playing, suddenly Rameswar got up and asked my brother to give the postal address of our house. My brother little surprised, asked why? Rameswar said, I have decided to send you a greetings card by post, so give me your address. My brother was kind of illiterate then(did not know how to write), so with this news, he got very excited and came running to me and narrated me what Rameswar said him. I got even more excited. I went inside pulled a square piece of paper, and started writing our address. In the end, the hand writing was not looking that impressive to me, I was afraid that Rameswar may decide against sending us a card if the handwriting was not good enough. So, I decided to redo the whole thing again. In that process, I may have done it several times, before the writing was near perfect. With lot of pride with my own work, I handed that piece of paper to my brother, who in turn gave that to Rameswar. I was thinking how long it will take for the postal people to deliver a card from across the street, may be 2 days... Then suddenly, I heard my brother coming to me running and telling, Rameswar tore the address paper and said, "don't have so much hope that I will send you a card", and ran away. All my dreams got shattered like a pack of cards and I remember that event till today. So, if anyone says they will do something for me and don't do that, then I simply say "Don't Rameswar me".... You can also use it, if you like.

Storey of Aparna is slightly different. By the way, in our recent meeting we knighted her with a new suffix "namuni" means "sample". She truly is a sample and now she proudly flaunts "namuni" in her name stamp in each email.

Aparna was my room mate during my Ph.D days. I will tell more of her storeys later, but for now, let me tell why I would like to say "Don't Aparna me". Many times Aparna and I used to go to shopping/exhibitions and buy range of products. Before getting into the bus, we will be talking, joking nicely, then suddenly she will shut down completely. She will not listen, not talk, simply look out through the bus window. Initially, I was kind of pissed, later I accepted that, it is after all her "true nature". I had a small Luna during my Ph.D days and I used give Aparna a ride when the Luna would start. But many days, it won't start. I will be struggling kicking it, then Aparna will coolly walk off passing me let alone stop and ask if I needed any help. She does that walking off quite often. If you are walking together, for no reason, what so ever she will walk off. So, if anyone walks off on you for no apparent reason, you can just tell "Don't Aparna me". So for today I guess these 2 terms are enough:)))




Sunday, April 8, 2012

Perpetual critiques

Disclaimer: I have decided to use my iPad as a medium for social media, untill I find other more useful usages of it. While cooking I thought let me use my iPad for writing this blog, so please excuse typos. While growing up, I felt really good criticizing people - No it has not stopped there, I still do that but the intensity and frequency has gone down significantly. Although I still criticize people, but somehow developed a disliking for people who are constantly complaining about situations people etc. I am not sure if this is a good sign or a bad sign. So I kind of decided to blog about such behavior. Husband of a very dear friend of mine is severely critical about everyone. He starts with complaints about people, their IQ, their behavior and everything. I have hardly seen him appreciating anyone as such. So I wonder if he ever finds any action of any individual worth his grain. Why does it happen in the first place? Let me give you my own example. When I was doing that(that is during my teens so may I be forgiven?), I used to immediately feel good about myself. The sense that, I am not like anything that I am criticizing about, re-assured me about myself that I am better and left me feeling good. But then was I really unsure about my being good? Well, I guess that was the reason, I have to re-assured that I am good, because I am not sure about myself. Deep down I have a fear that I am after all bad in that department,so I have to constantly remind me that I am good and so I end up criticizing. So for every criticism, there is a sense of insecurity, frustration, inferiority complex. Successful people never brag about themselves or their success, but the ones not sure about their well being constantly brag about it. Someone's that has no good publication will talk about papers all the time. Someone not doing good in job will constantly tell how good he is at work. Someone not sure about his own IQ constantly complains about other people completely lacking it. Someone not surE about their looks will criticize about how bad others look like and so on. If you were really a good person, always the good things about another person's character will come in front of you. You will be embarrassed about discussing bad things about another soul. If you were truly successful, you will be embarrassed in discussing about your own success, if you were good looking, you will be embarrassed if someone tells how good you look like. So this is for today. Before judging someone, just look inside and find the true cause behind it. If you find any of the causes I have written above is your real motivation, then refrain from doing that. Sister shivani says that thinking consciously is meditation. So by meditating our thoughts only we can become worthy individuals. Pe